Today Must Be My Birthday
by Thindy
Summary: Toby volunteers @ Piper's school.  #12 in the Piper series.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: "Today Must Be My Birthday" (1/3)

RATING: A  
>CHARACTERS: Piper and the Gang<p>

SUMMARY: Toby volunteers at Piper's school

DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.  
>FOLLOWS: Queendegarten<p>

**ONE**

I was sitting at the breakfast table having my morning coffee while I waited for CJ to finish feeding Keegan. Piper was still upstairs getting herself ready for school. It was a Folgers's commercial kind of moment. Peace and quiet.

"I's all done Daddy."

I swear I heard a director off in the distance calling "Cut! That's a wrap." A deep voice booms from above me to inform those of us that are parents, "Who are you kidding? Didn't you know that you only get five minutes if you're lucky to yourself? Shake it off because we now bring you back to your regularly scheduled life; already in progress."

I really hate when that voice speaks to me. Piper was standing before me all dressed and energetic to begin another day at school.

I have to admit that since she has started kindergarten she has been a completely different child.

I think that telling her that if she's bad she can't attend school is also a big factor in that. You've got to love the ability to blackmail your own children.

Piper handed me her hairbrush, "Can I has pigtails today Daddy?"

She turned herself around and backed up towards me so that I could do her hair. I've been doing it quite often now for her since Donna took the time out to show me how to do pigtails, ponytails and I can even manage a sloppy French braid.

Luckily Piper doesn't have the stamina to stand still that long for me to have to do it often enough. I divided her hair and held it up for my own benefit to make sure that they were even. "Hit me baby," I said to her as I waited for her to hand me her hair accessories.

"Ow," she cried out as I wound the elastic around her hair for the third time.

"Too tight?" I asked her trying to see her face.

She nodded her head, "I'm sorry Piper." I tried to loosen it so that it didn't hurt as bad and then I continued on to the next one. The colour of her first pigtail was red. The one she handed me for the second one was pink.

"Honey, these don't match."

"Yes they does."

I held her hair in my hand but pushed her slightly forward so that I could see her outfit. She was wearing a white blouse with a red jumper. No pink that I could see.

"You're wearing red and white sweetie. So unless your shoes are pink, I don't see a match of any kind."

Piper turned as best as she could considering I still had her hair gathered in my left hand and whispered, "My underwears are pink."

I smiled at my daughter, "Gotcha," I said nodding my head. Case closed there.

CJ came running into the kitchen searching around frantically. "What are you looking for?"

"Uh Keegan…."

"YOU lost Keegan?" Piper asked with her jaw practically hanging from the floor.

CJ looked at Piper and smiled, "No sweetie. Keegan broke my glasses. I'm looking for my old pair."

I didn't look at my wife for reasons unbeknown to me. I always like looking at my wife. But I kept my focus on Piper's hair but I did say, "In my office. Second drawer on the left side."

"What?" CJ asked spinning around to me. "What are my glasses doing in your office?"

"You asked me to fix the frame because it was bent."

"Oh you fixed them," CJ replied with glee.

I sighed, "No."

"No?" She repeated.

I should have looked at her sooner. Atleast that way she would have a kind picture of me still fresh in her mind instead of the bad one she was no doubt forming now.

"I forgot."

"You forgot, Toby! I asked you to fix them and you promised me you would."

"I promised no such thing. You didn't even remember asking me to fix them."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did," she argued raising her voice.

I released Piper who went running out of the room. I stood up and placed my hands on my hips, "Oh yeah, When?"

CJ looked taken back but she strongly stood her ground and lied, "Last month."

I made the sound you would hear in a game show if you buzzed in and the answer was incorrect, "Shall we try that again?"

"Two months?" CJ said asking and guessing at the same time.

"Try over ten months."

"Ten months!" CJ cried out.

"It was shortly before Keegan was born."

"You've had them for ten months and you still haven't fixed them?" She yelled back at me.

Now how did I end up the bad guy in all of this is what I want to know? I gulped and replied; "I'll fix them now while you continue to get ready."

I left the kitchen immediately but I could hear her voice as I made my way to my office. I bet the people in Canada heard her voice as well.

**TEN MINUTES LATER**

"Okay Mrs. Poyton is here and Piper is in the car," CJ said as she gave me a quick kiss before she scrambled out the door.

"You won't be long right?"

"No. I just have a meeting that I have to attend to and then I'll be there."

"Promise?"

"Toby I promise. You'll be fine until I get there."

"And you're not going to tell anyone about this right?" I asked her with trepidation in my voice.

"I won't tell a soul Toby. Now you better get going. I'm already running behind as it is and I have to fight traffic," she had opened the driver door of the van and threw in her briefcase. I was just exiting our house.

Piper was already strapped into her seat and she was stretching herself over to the horn on my car which she honked twice. I stuck my tongue out at her as I made my way to the car.

I opened the door and Piper yelled, "Let's go Daddy. Let's go!"

"I'm coming. Hold your horses you," I got into the car and started the engine and pressed the button to roll down Piper's window a bit.

"Say goodbye to your mother."

"Bye mommy I'll see you soon right?"

Piper waved and CJ waved back and blew her kisses, "I'll be there as fast as I can sweetie. You be a good girl and make sure your father stays out of trouble."

"Oh I will mommy I can do that."

"I know you can baby," CJ blew me a kiss and then backed out of our driveway. I followed behind her.

"Isn't this fun Daddy. You're coming to school with me."

"It sure is sweetie."

"Why are you coming again though?"

Good question I wanted to say but I knew why. I was going to be one of the parents volunteering for "Fun Charity Day". The better question is how did I wind up being the one in the dunking booth?

***TWO***

CJ was doing a quick run down the hall towards Josh's office when she thought she spotted Sam in one of the conference rooms. She stopped suddenly and took a few steps backwards and peeked into the room.

"Sam?"

Sam glanced up at CJ and smiled, "Hi CJ."

"What are you doing in here?"

"It's the quietest place I could find," he clicked his pen shut and placed it on top of his notepad.

"But you don't work here anymore…..do you?"

Sam chuckled, "I know I don't but I was in town and I thought I would drop by. You know see some old friends. That sort of thing."

CJ glanced around the large empty room. Sam caught on to what she was thinking and cleared his throat, "I haven't yet visited with anyone yet."

Now it was CJ's turn to smile, "You're supposed to be bunking at Josh's aren't you?"

Sam hesitated but finally answered, "Yeah."

CJ nodded as she was now understanding why Sam was in this room all alone in the quiet. Something he would never have gotten if he was at Josh's place.

"Hey," CJ said quietly. She turned to look behind her to make sure nobody was around and then she closed the door and walked towards the table. "Do you feel like getting out for a couple of hours?"

"Hmm, I don't know CJ. I really have to get this done. It was supposed to be drafted yesterday but I had a problem with my flight and…"

CJ cut him off, "Piper's school is having a charity run with the parents as volunteers. With my personal input he was mysteriously volunteered to be the schmuk in the dunking booth and well…I just thought…"

Now it was Sam cutting off CJ, "I'll drive," he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair.

CJ left Sam after giving him the directions to Piper's school and continued on her way to Josh's office. Donna wasn't at her desk and CJ was afraid that she had missed him but was happy when she did find him sitting in his office.

"Joshua," she said as she bounced happily into his room.

"I didn't do it."

"How much do you love me?"

Josh glanced up at his friend and grinned, "Is this one of those trick questions that can cost me a slap to the head?"

"No."

"Good because I really don't like those kind. I always seem to get them wrong," he winked at CJ.

"I've got a secret," CJ confessed.

"Oh even better. Those are the kind that give me a couple slaps to the head. CJ you know I can't keep a secret to save my life."

CJ grinned at Josh, "That's exactly what I'm counting on."

She leaned over and began to explain to him what Toby was doing today and Josh started to laugh. He spun around in his chair and smiled, "Today must be my birthday." 

Now that she had Josh and Sam, Sam being a bonus, CJ made her way to Charlie. She knew Josh would tell pretty much everyone else that CJ didn't make it to and for once she liked Josh's big mouth.

Charlie was putting files away when CJ came around the corner. She stood in front of his desk and ran her fingers along his desk.

"Do you like it?" Charlie asked as he watched CJ running her hands along his desk.

"Yes," CJ admitted.

"Good, and no you can't have it."

"I don't want it. I want to invite you somewhere."

Charlie looked around the area and then back at CJ, "Uh CJ I like you and all but I also like my teeth. And although I know I can take Toby easily, another part of me realizes it would take two shots: One for him to knock me and the other would be my ass hitting the floor."

"Relax Charlie. I'm not propositioning you for a date. Piper's having a charity at her school."

"So it's not me you really want but my wallet?"

CJ shook her head a little and smiled as she said, "That works for me."

Charlie sighed and asked, "How many chocolate bars do I have to buy?"

"I'm sure they'll have those available if you'd like but that's not what I want from you. Toby's a volunteer at her school."

"I'm not buying him?" he asked with panic in his voice and CJ laughed. "It's not one of those raise a lot of money and win Toby for a date kind of thing is it?"

"God no!"

Charlie took a seat behind his desk, "Okay then I'm listening."

"They have a dunking booth…" CJ let the statement sink into Charlie and she gave him some time.

He quickly got her message, "For a fee anyone off the street can dunk his ass?" He asked with excitement.

"Yep," CJ said as she nodded.

"Oh man this is good," Charlie made a teepee with his fingers and smirked at CJ. "This is really good."

"Can I count on you to come out?"

"I just have to make a stop at the bank and I'll be there."

"I'm not sure of the cost. I didn't read the entire sheet that Piper brought home. I only found out he was in the dunking booth yesterday."

"CJ if I have to take a loan out it would well worth it."

CJ tapped the desk and pointed to the Oval Office, "Is the President in?"

"Yes he's in there with Leo."

"Good. That's two birds with one stone."

"For dunking Toby I'm thinking you'd only need a pebble to get their attention."

"You know where her school is right?"

"Yeah I think I can find my way. It's just down the street from your house right?"

CJ nodded, "Yeah. Toby will be in the gymnasium. It's too cold to have it outside."

"When does it start?"

CJ glanced at her watch, "In about a half hour. They were doing some other stuff before they setup the dunk tank."

Charlie turned his computer off, "Well for once I'm very happy I came in on a Saturday."

CJ said goodbye to Charlie and knocked on the Oval Office door. She waited until she was given permission to enter.

"Good morning CJ," both the President and Leo addressed her.

"Good morning Mr. President, Leo."

"CJ I was just asking Leo this and he didn't know. Perhaps you do. Where is Big Bend National Park located?"

CJ glanced at Leo for help but he just rolled his eyes and looked away from her. She was on her own.

"Uh Sir…I'm not very good with parks."

"I'm not asking you to draw it for me CJ. You do know the states can I presume that much?"

"Yes Sir."

"Well then out of the fifty that we have, pick one."

CJ drew a big breath and guessed, "Wyoming?"

"Wyoming? Grand Teton National Park is in Wyoming. CJ you disappoint me," The President sighed sadly.

CJ glanced back at Leo, "Don't look at me. I picked Oregon. Turns out Crater Lake isn't just a city it's also a National Park and apparently it's lovely."

"Don't mock me Leo," the President warned. Leo laughed without fear while CJ tried to stifle hers.

"The answer by the way is West Texas."

CJ tossed her hands up in the air, "That was my next guess Sir."

Bartlet glared at CJ knowing she was pulling his chain. He decided to let it slide and asked, "What brings you by? Is there a problem I should be aware of?"

CJ thought about forgetting the entire idea but then figured she was here so why not? "No Sir, there isn't a problem. The reason I came by is…."

Suddenly she didn't have the guts to ask them to come. She stood there while they both watched her. The President looked at Leo but he too didn't have a clue as to what was wrong with CJ.

"CJ is this going to take long? Should I have lunch ordered in?"

"I'm sorry Sir," she took another big breath and then laughed. "Boy I didn't think this was going to be difficult but suddenly I feel so foolish."

Bartlet's expression took on one of sympathy as he came to the conclusion that CJ was in financial difficulty and was having a problem confronting him for help. "Do you need money CJ?" he asked softly.

Leo sat forward on the sofa. The concept hadn't occurred to him that CJ and Toby could be hurting for money. He felt terrible all of a sudden. Of course it was possible. With a new house and a new baby and a growing four year old now in school.

CJ was shocked at what the President had asked and her practically screamed out, "NO!"

"Oh my gosh Mr. President no that's not why I'm here."

"Okay then," he said not completely satisfied.

"Piper's having a charity at her school that will begin shortly and Toby is there with her now."

"And you're afraid he's going to get stuck in her desk again?" Bartlet asked. He took a second to reflect back on the story that CJ had told him and he smiled. He thought it was so funny and yet so true to Toby's personality to have happened.

"Not quite Sir. Toby is volunteering."

"Our Toby?" Leo asked surprised.

CJ glanced Leo's way, "Yes. I am as well. But he thinks I have a meeting here and that I'll be there when it's over."

"What meeting? With whom?"

"Nobody Leo. I lied."

"Ooh I'm liking this already," Bartlet chimed in. "If you're lying to Toby then it must be for a good reason. One in which he doesn't benefit from I assume. Let me guess, he's the guy having pies thrown at him. Well I'm in then."

The President slapped his hands together and rubbed them. The idea of throwing a pie at Toby was making him all giddy inside.

"Close….he's in a dunk booth."

"Toby?" Leo asked once more.

Bartlet smiled at CJ, "Today must be my birthday. Did I just hear you say that Toby is going to be sitting all by his lonesome in a dunk tank just waiting for someone to drop his ass into cold water?"

"You did," CJ said with her eyes twinkling.

"Grab your coat Leo. You're driving," Bartlet ordered.


	2. Chapter 2

TITLE: "Today Must Be My Birthday" (2/3)

RATING: A  
>CHARACTERS: Piper and the Gang<p>

SUMMARY: Toby volunteers at Piper's school

DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.  
>FOLLOWS: Queendegarten<p>

**THREE**

CJ was running twenty minutes behind when she finally arrived at Piper's school. She parked her car and walked as fast as she could towards the back of the school where the majority of activities were being held.

Immediately she spotted Charlie and waved him over. When he came over she was almost out of breath as she handed him her camcorder.

"Take this please and film his ass when one of you dunks him. I'll take care of the rest."

Charlie took the recorder from CJ and gave her a look of doubt, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"The way I see it he's going to kill me anyway so why not go for the gusto," CJ shrugged and pulled her purse back up her shoulder.

She gave Charlie a pat on the arm, "I've got to run. The Ice Bitch is glaring over here."

"The Ice Who?" Charlie asked but CJ had already walked away from him and towards a woman who strongly resembled Cinderella's Step Mother.

Josh and Will came around the corner and Josh called out Charlie's name. "Hey Josh, Will," Charlie greeted them.

"Oh cool you came equipped," Josh said noticing the camcorder.

Charlie glanced down at the electronic that he was holding in his hand, "Yeah CJ gave me this. She wants me to record Toby being dunked."

"I hope she has a lot of film and batteries," Josh joked.

"Man this school really goes all out," Will said as he took in his surroundings. It looked as if the Carnival had stopped in there were so many attractions available.

"Yeah it's pretty cool," Charlie agreed as he looked around once more. "There's a ticket booth over there," he said pointing to the booth. "I've already purchased tickets so I'm good to start dunking," Charlie removed his tickets and they unraveled and hit the ground after a minute.

"Holy crap do you think you have enough?" Josh asked.

"I plan to do a lot of dunking," Charlie said as he nodded his head.

"Point me to the chocolate bars," Donna said as she walked up behind them.

"Hi Donna," they all said.

Donna stood beside Charlie and smiled, "This is cool."

"We were just saying that," replied Will.

"I think the President is even here," Donna said to them.

Josh and Will turned around to where Donna had motioned, "I don't see him."

"No secret service either from what I can tell," Will replied.

"That can only mean one thing," Charlie sighed.

"What's that?" Will asked.

"He's the ugly ass woman walking beside Leo," Charlie explained pointing towards Leo.

Will laughed and then squinted through his glasses, "Are you kidding me?"

"No that's him," Charlie, Josh and Donna said together.

"Man he makes one hell of an ugly woman."

"We know," they said in harmony.

"There's Sam," Donna said as she pointed to him.

"Where?" Josh glanced around.

"Over there."

Josh followed Donna's finger but he still couldn't see him. "I don't see him Donna."

"He's the one with the huge cotton candy," she practically shouted. "What are you blind?"

Josh looked once more and sure enough there was Sam hard at work on a cotton candy cone that looked larger than his entire head. "Figures he'd be eating."

"Well I'd love to stay and chat but I must begin my day of glory," Charlie said as he excused himself.

"We'll be right behind you Charlie. I'm going to go over and get some tickets," Josh told him as he waved goodbye.

"So where's the chocolate bars?" Donna asked as Josh and Will walked away from her.

Josh stepped aside after purchasing his tickets and was in the process of folding them up when Piper ran up to him. "Uncle Josh mommy said that one of you Uncles has to takes care of me."

"Well hello there Princess," Josh said as he bent down to scoop her up in his arms. "She said that did she?"

"Uh huh. Can you takes me to play the water game please?"

"What water game sweetie?"

"The one over there," Piper pointed over to a booth that had a row of guns and large clown faces as the targets.

"You want to shoot at clowns?"

"It looks like fun."

"It looks lame."

"No it doesn't. It looks like fun to me."

"Only geeks like that game," he tried to convince her.

Josh sighed and agreed and to take Piper over to the clowns. She clapped her hands and then threw her arms around him smothering him with kisses. "Why can't I get women over 25 to do this to me?"

"Hey, where are you going?" Will asked counting out his tickets to make sure they were all there.

"Piper wants to go shoot some clowns so that's where we're going."

"Oh cool I love that game," Will said all excited.

Josh looked at Piper, "I told you."

The three of them walked over to the booth. "How many tickets per game?"

"Two," the guy running it answered.

Josh ripped two tickets off and handed them to the guy, "Go for it princess," he said to Piper.

Will handed him two tickets as well and picked up his rifle. The object was to blow the balloon attached to the clown with the water from the gun.

"Uh sorry buddy but she can't play," the guy told Josh not sounding very sorry at all.

"Excuse me?" Josh asked stretching his ear out as if he didn't hear him correctly.

"I said she can't play."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because she's just a kid."

"Let me guess, you got that just from looking at her right?" Josh asked sarcastically.

Will replaced the gun and stood his ground beside Josh. "I don't see an age limit written anywhere."

"So," the guy replied with a snotty tone.

"So….that means she can play. Unless otherwise instructed on a written sign she is legally allowed to take part in this game."

"Well I said no." 

Josh shifted his weight and placed his left hand on his hip and said sternly, "Well I said she can play. So unless you want to be slurping your food through a straw for the next few weeks I suggest you shut the hell up and get ready to give the kid a prize."

The guy stared down at Josh and then huffed and puffed but finally backed off. "Yeah that's what I thought," Josh said rudely.

He bent over to Piper who was standing there waiting patiently to play. She didn't have any doubt that Uncle Josh wouldn't come through for her. She was accustomed to him getting mean with certain people when he had to. He called it 'working his people skills' and Piper called it, 'getting his own way.' She liked it when he got his own way.

"Okay are you ready?"

Piper took the gun off the handle and nodded. She then aimed the gun and when it was time she started blasting. Unfortunately for her, she was blasting the clown beside hers.

"Wrong clown Piper," Will told her as she was aiming at his.

"No this is the one I want," she told him making Josh laugh.

He rubbed the top of her head and said, "You make me want to have children little one."

**FOUR**

Charlie paid no attention to the attractions that surrounded him. His concern lay with what was taking place inside the school, specifically the gymnasium.

He followed the signs that lead him towards the gym and soon he could hear the voices of the hundred or so people that filled the large room.

At first glance of the dunk tank Charlie was disappointed when he didn't see Toby. Instead there was a man in his late thirties smiling as he sat on the swing, his hands holding tightly onto the fence of either side of the tank.

"He's not here yet?"

Charlie spun around to see Donna looking back at him. The Disappointment was obviously clear.

"I don't see him," he replied shrugging his shoulders.

"I bought all these tickets just for this," Donna unfolded a few dozen tickets that she had purchased. "What a waste," she whined.

"Charlie! Donna!"

They both turned around at the sound of their names but couldn't find anyone they recognized. "Who's calling us?" Charlie asked Donna.

"I….don't know," she answered back as she slowly walked around in a circle.

"To your right," the voice yelled out. "Follow the cotton candy!"

Charlie and Donna looked at each other and said, "Sam." Donna stood up on her toes and looked around for the cotton candy. She slapped Charlie softly on his arm and using her purse she guided him to where Sam was standing waving what was left on his cotton candy stick.

They began to make their way through the people that had already begun to line up for their chance at the dunk tank. When they were inches away from Sam they were easily able to see Toby as he clung to his cage with the grip of a madman.

"He looks terrified," Sam told them, as they got closer.

"He better be," Charlie said back. "'Cuz he's going down."

"Ahhh, just looking at him up there all scared makes me feel really bad. We are all bad people for wanting to do this to him."

Charlie gave Donna a scolding look, "Are you insane? This is Toby we are talking about. This is what one would call a chance of a lifetime."

"The only sad part is that he is still dry. These people must suck," Sam said observing the others.

A loud catcall made them turn around where they saw Josh with Will and Piper. "Those are some legs he's got don't you think?"

"Don't do that Josh. He might see you," Donna reprimanded him.

"Isn't that the idea?"

"Well I suppose he's bound to sooner or later," Sam said.

"Ooh I've got an idea," Charlie said with a grin.

"I'm listening," Josh said getting excited.

"Well he doesn't know that we know he's here right?"

"Right."

"And if he found out that CJ told us he'd be pretty pissed off right?"

"Right."

"Well he's sitting up there probably scared to death and more than likely brooding because well, he's Toby and he'd probably die of humiliation if he even thought we were here."

"Is the point to your idea going to come today?" Will asked Charlie.

Charlie raised his finger to Will, "I say we screw around with him."

"Can I see my Daddy?" Piper asked Will who was holding her hand.

Before Will could respond Charlie said, "No. Not Yet."

"Oh this isn't good," Donna said with a sigh.

"What exactly do you have in mind there Charlie?" Sam inquired.

"We scatter around and let him spot us but only for a quick second. Then when he looks back he's going to get paranoid."

"Oh that's just wrong on so many levels," Donna cried out.

"I like it."

"You would Josh," she said to him with a frown on her face.

"But you've got to be quick. Make him think he's seeing things," Charlie explained.

"When do I get to dunk him though?"

"Don't worry Josh you'll get your chance."

"I'm not waiting long though. I want him to know that I am here," Josh told Charlie.

"I'm in," Will said. "But what do I do about," he jerked his head down to Piper who was quietly checking out her new bright pink Teddy Bear that Will had won for her.

"I'll take her," Donna said holding her hand out to Piper. "Piper how about you and I go and find your mommy."

"She's at the cotton candy stand," Sam said holding up his now empty stick.

"Can I gets some candy?" Piper asked Donna as she let go of Will's hand and took Donna's.

"If your mommy says it's okay." The guys stood and watched Donna walk away with Piper.

"Just so I know. I can be fired for this can't I?" Will asked.

Josh, Sam and Charlie nodded their hands and said, "Oh yeah."

"That's what I thought." He clapped his hands together, "Well I might as well go out with a bang. I'll take the left side over here. There's a rather large man that I think I can hide behind fast enough."

They wished each other luck and spread themselves throughout the gym.

"I can't believe I am doing this," I said to myself as I watched the ten or so morons throw balls at the target that was as wide as Texas and yet they still continued to miss.

Atleast I was still dry. That of course was a good thing. And the fact that nobody here even knows who I am or what I do for a living. All they know is that I am Piper's father. Well there were a few odd parents that were aware that I worked for the President but the rest of them I don't even think could spell President if ever asked.

I glanced over at the other tank to where little Ryerson's father Randy was sitting on his swing. And then before I could blink he was dropped into the water. What a sucker.

As my eyes roamed back to what was going on in front of me I could have sworn I spotted Will. I quickly darted my eyes back but there was no one there.

A few beads of sweat formed on my brow and I drew in a big breath. "Oh God no," I whispered.

I looked all around but I couldn't see him. It must have been someone else. Besides the guy I saw was wearing jeans and I wasn't sure if Will even owned a pair.

"Get ready buddy you're going to get wet," a tall stick like man, warned me.

I pretended to care as I waved to acknowledge this loser who threw the ball and yet surprisingly enough missed the target.

"My daughter throws better than you asshole," I mumbled.

The crowd ahhed for the guy as he missed his second shot. Someone said, "Better luck next time."

I splashed my feet around in the water. It was pretty cold and I was dreading having to put my feet in let alone my entire body. But this was for Charity and for Piper as well.

I hope that I have now shown how good of a sport I am by doing this. Because once I get that spine I so badly need for Christmas I'm going to draw the line at this kind of crap from ever happening again.

A child of about ten stepped up and threw his ball and missed. He looked so heart broken that I too even felt bad for him for a second. And it was a short second at that.

I watched as he sulked away and I saw Josh. I watched him take a step forward and I kept my eyes on him but he was gone. That's impossible I kept my eyes on him. Where the hell did he go?

I scanned the area quickly and licked my lips that were getting dry. "I'm going to kill you CJ," I whispered again.

I tried to turn myself around to see if Josh was there but I couldn't turn all the way. I glanced around again but I didn't see him. I scanned all the faces and none of them were of Will or Josh. Oh my God was that Sam? I turned to my left when I heard someone yell, "You're all mine."

That voice, I know that voice. It was Charlie's. Was he here too? I looked around again frantically. I removed my hand from the fence that I was holding onto for dear life and rubbed my eyes and brushed the sweat off of my forehead.

There was nobody around me that I knew. All the faces soon began to blend and it was getting hard to concentrate on whom it was that I was searching for.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I was being foolish. There was no way that I had just spotted Sam, Josh or Will. Nor had I heard Charlie's voice.

For one thing Sam wasn't even residing in the state any longer. And if Josh were here he would want me to know it. I'm just being overly paranoid, that's all.

"I hope you can swim," I thought I heard the President say.

I stared straight ahead but there was no President standing before me but rather a wrinkled old lady. And she was pushing her sleeves up getting ready. "That's no lady," I said out loud. "Oh my God," I cried out. That's Bartlet.


	3. Chapter 3

TITLE: "Today Must Be My Birthday" (3/3)

RATING: A  
>CHARACTERS: Piper and the Gang<p>

SUMMARY: Toby volunteers at Piper's school

DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.  
>FOLLOWS: Queendegarten<p>

**FIVE**

Sam walked quickly over to Will who was standing in between Josh and Charlie. Josh smiled at Sam and took notice of the look of horror upon his face.

"Sam are you alright?"

"Uh yeah," he stammered.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Will commented.

"Yeah man. You're like the whitest guy here," Charlie chimed in.

"I got groped."

Josh laughed, "You got what?"

"Someone grabbed my bum."

The three men laughed at Sam who looked even more hurt, "It's not funny."

"Yes it is," Josh said still laughing.

"I always said you had a nice bum Sam," Charlie laughed placing his arm on Sam's shoulder.

"Did you atleast thank her?"

"I don't think it was…."

Josh stared at Sam waiting for him to finish. When Sam blushed Josh understood why he wasn't continuing. "Oh my God he got felt up by another guy."

If they weren't laughing hard before they sure were now. "You guys suck," Sam said as he walked away.

"Don't forget to get his number!" Josh shouted making Sam cover the side of his face as he quickened his pace.

"That's too funny," Josh said turning to look at Will and Charlie. "Who knew we'd get to screw with both Toby and Sam on the same day." He puffed out his chest feeling all proud.

"Speaking of Toby getting screwed. Don't look now but with any luck I think he's about to get wet by the President in his scary ass getup," Will pointed out to Josh and Charlie who both glanced in Toby's direction.

"It looks like I've got you by the balls now wouldn't you say Mr. Ziegler?"

I licked my dry lips and glanced quickly around the gymnasium. I am so going to kill my wife. There has definitely got to be laws against this sort of thing. And if there isn't, there will be by the time I get back to the office.

The President wound up and that's the last thing I saw before I squeezed my eyes shut for about thirty seconds. When I didn't feel the cold water I slowly opened my left eye. He missed. Ha ha!

"Don't get all cocky, I'm just warming up," he informed me with his female impersonating voice.

I opened my eyes fully and watched this time as he threw his second ball. Strike two! Leo was standing by the President's side with his arms full of balls. He handed the President another which he missed as well.

My heart began to slow down to its regular beat and the panic began to subside. Suddenly I wasn't all that worried.

Three more balls came towards me and not one of them hit the target. I leaned forward and tried to look down. The President was about to throw another ball when he stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Making sure that there is actually a target," I replied with a whole lot of cockiness in my tone.

"Oh you're in for it now."

"Oh yeah," I said leaning back and folding my arms against my chest. "What are you going do? Actually dunk me?"

The President's face turned red and he stepped back and said, "Your turn Leo."

"Oh I can't do this," Leo replied.

"Sure you can. Just aim and throw the damn thing."

I started to laugh and Bartlet asked, "What are you laughing at?"

I began shaking my head, "You're giving Leo instructions when you yourself couldn't even get the job done."

Leo and Bartlet exchanged looks and Leo stepped up and took his turn. In the end he wound up taking close to thirteen and all were missed.

Bartlet patted Leo on his back, "That's okay Leo. Help has arrived."

I followed the President and Leo's gaze and I damn near fell into the water myself when I spotted Josh, Charlie and Sam walking up towards me, their hands full of balls.

***SIX***

"Well look at what we've got here. Our own sitting duck," Josh said when he was close enough to me.

I glared at him and he just shrugged me off, "I see you're still dry. I think we're going to have to fix that."

"Am I to assume you're the one to do it?" I asked. The cockiness had left and was probably on its way to South Carolina by now.

Josh snorted, "Are you challenging me there Ziegler?"

I had nothing to lose, "Bring it on Mr. I got kicked out of Little League because I couldn't play to save my life."

Josh rolled his tongue between his teeth and prepared to take his first attempt. He studied the target, drew in a deep breath and whipped the ball. The ball would have hit me square in the head if I wasn't being protected by a fence.

"Ah man you suck," Charlie groaned.

"I'm warming up," Josh shot back.

"That's right Josh," Bartlet defended him. "You take your time."

"You missed the target by like four feet," Will said.

"I'm concentrating do you mind?" Josh snapped as he took his stance once again.

Luckily enough there were not many people around my tank since the White House Staff was surrounding me. I guess my warm and shiny personality drove the others to Randy's tank instead.

Josh pitched and missed again. This time it went to the left of the tank. Did I mention the target was on the right?

"Oh for the love of God," Charlie cried out throwing his arms up in the air.

"Still warming," Josh snapped.

"Well can you try and warm up towards the blue and red circles that are over THERE!" Charlie asked as he pointed to the right of me where the target was.

Josh not only threw all of his balls but the ones that Sam and Charlie were holding as well. I on the other hand was still dry.

"Okay this is just embarrassing," Sam said as he looked around at everyone.

"I'd love to stay and help but this damn girdle is cutting off circulation," Bartlet said as he pulled up his stockings.

He looked over at me and then back to the gang, "Don't even think of coming back to the office until he's ass up in that tank."

"Will do Sir," Will kiss-assed. I made a special note to make his life as miserable as I could during the next few weeks.

Charlie, Sam and Will began conversing and I couldn't hear what they were saying, "Uh guys. I'm getting kind of bored here." I looked down at my watch and yawned for special effect.

They all looked at me and then at each other, "Okay I'm tapped out. Who's got some money?" Josh asked them.

"I'm done Josh. Unless they have debit?" Will said as he spun around searching.

"I've got some money left," Charlie said and then left to head to the ticket booth.

"Sam?" Josh called out his name.

"I'm done Josh. I spent my last few bucks on the balls that you threw for me."

"I thought you had fifty on you?"

"He ate it," Will spoke up receiving a dirty look from Sam.

"Sam!" Josh cried out.

"What? I was hungry. I didn't have anything to eat all day….and CJ made me."

"Yeah she forced that cotton candy down his throat," Will laughed.

"CJ's at the cotton candy booth?" I cried out.

"Yep," Will answered.

I can't believe that I got stuck here and she's over at the cotton candy booth. "Uh out of curiosity where is my daughter?"

"Who Piper?"

"No Sam, the other one I bought off of eBay. Of course Piper."

"She's with Donna," Will replied.

"Speaking of Donna. Here she comes," Sam said.

"Hi Daddy," Piper said as she waved to me. "Are you going swimming?

"He will be in a few seconds," Charlie said as he handed three balls to Will to hold for him.

"If you're at all the same as you play in basketball that was a waste of an empty threat," I said. The cockiness tip-toeing slowly back to me.

Charlie threw the ball and missed. He threw 2 more and missed them as well and he was down to his last one.

"Jesus Charlie you throw worse than a girl," I taunted.

With all the energy he could muster he wound up and threw the ball at what seemed like Major League high speed…and missed.

Donna purchased a dozen and between herself, Sam and Will they too missed.

I laughed. I was close to shitting my drawers and now that they had all bombed out I was completely confident and proud to have seen my fellow co-workers and so called friends strike out.

"Can I play?" Piper asked Josh.

"I'm out of tickets darling," he said feeling pretty bad.

"Can I use that one?" Piper pointed to a ball that wasn't too far from her. It was one of the one's that Donna had used.

"Are you allowed to do that?" Josh asked Donna.

"I can't see why not. I mean she's just a kid. What harm can it do?" Sam responded.

"Technically we paid for them. I mean we missed and all but so what?" Will said.

Charlie bent down and picked up the stranded ball that hadn't been picked up by the volunteering parent and handed it to Piper. "You do your thing sweetie."

"What does I do?"

"Piper baby," I began. "Can you see the target that's below daddy? It's got big blue and red circles?"

She nodded making her pigtails swing back and forth, "Aim the ball for that okay."

"Okay."

"Just take your time honey," Josh said as he squatted down to be at her level. "It's okay if you miss."

"Daddy?"

"Yes baby."

"If I hits you am I going to get into trouble?"

"Of course not princess. You try as hard as you can to hit those circles and….."

I was upside down with my head at the bottom and my feet straight up in the air. The water is even colder when you're completely submerged.


End file.
